Heart of the Garden

I know I have a lot of blind spots in my garden, spaces that I don’t fully see, I might see them with some cloudy vision, but I’m seeing them more with my — what are those things that sharks have? Hold on, I have to google this — ok, ampullae of Lorenzini and apparently they are jelly-filled organs with special receptors in them. OK, so I don’t have jelly-filled organs, that I know of, but when I scan the garden, I’m not seeing what’s there in that space and time. I’m seeing a cubist reality of what should be there, what MIGHT be there over multiple seasons, I’m seeing anthocyanins (purples) and caratinoids (oranges) that aren’t activated yet, I’m seeing layered grids of clay and sand deposits, I’m seeing a heat map of dry spots and wet zones, I’m seeing an invisible shovel digging out that beautyberry that I THOUGHT was native but it’s not. I’m seeing mental stickynotes on the leaves reminding me to keep track of this plant during this droughty August or monitor the difference between the phlox that I Chelsea chopped and the ones I left to get leggy.

My husband just told me this morning that the ‘Heavy Metal’ switch grass flanking the path to our front door was flopping and blocking the way and the front halves were languishing across the sidewalk. I didn’t notice at all. I just sweep a hand across the haze of tiny purple seed heads every time I come through loaded with groceries or whatever. I make room for plants. They don’t have to bend to my whim. Isn’t this my goal? To see what THEY want? To have the privilege of them telling ME (and me listening) to how they want to flop and bulge out into the sunlight and take up glorious SPACE in the world? All those ragged lines and jaunty billows feel so much better when they are plant-driven and unfettered by my hands. Maybe I don’t see these blind spots, but I FEEL them. And I want every living thing in my Garden to go as WILD AS THEY WANT! Because that is how I wish I could be without worry of being labeled as overgrown, encouraged to flop and bulge and take up all this glorious space in the world.